It’s Lizzie Grubman‘s birthday, so we’re supposed to be nice to her. But sometimes you just can’t. You’ll remember public relations girl Lizzie, daughter of arguably the most powerful lawyer in the music business, as the hit-and-run driver of an SUV that ran into a knot of Long Island bar patrons on July 7, 2001. The Daily News brings us juice if not justice today from her deposition testimony in a civil suit:
“I was screaming, saying, ‘I need to go back and take responsibility for my actions,’ and I was held down and not allowed to move,” she testified.
and elsewhere:
Plaintiff’s Attorney Roger Kunkis: What was the sum and substance of your conversation?
Grubman: ‘What are you doing? Let me go back. I need to take responsibility for my actions.’ He pinned me down with his hands.
Under oath, that was. I feel a poem coming on.
Lizzie in her Dad’s Mercedes
Sent the rabble down to Hades.
When she saw what she had done,
She had her story nicely spun.
Little Lizzie went all mental
And used her car in ways ungentle.
That quote of hers is surely right,
As true now as it was that night.
There once was a girl from Manhattan
Whose Dad had a car that she sat in
And the peasants around
She ran into the ground
Shifting quickly from “Drive” into “Flatten.”
or, in the words of a different Bard:
Do not go gentle into that good night;
Stomp on the gas.
Higgledy Piggledy
Lizzie thought nothing of
Mowing the masses down
In her Mercedes.
Now she’s on trial for
Acting like she got her
Sense of entitlement
Back in the eighties.
Lizzie, to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern: What piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension, how like a god: the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Not much, think I’ll run him over. (II.ii.303-310)
Comment date changed - this comment was accidentally deleted in the course of removing spam, and I restore it now. Original post date was 1/30/04.